I believe in me and this idea of this business. Why do more people not believe in me? I know I've read somewhere that if you believe in yourself you don't need the compliments of others- but being in business, I need the support.
I've run 8 marathons. There comes a point in the 26.2 miles where your mind stops supporting what you know your body is supposed to be doing- or maybe it's the other way around. Regardless, you start looking outside of yourself for support. You look for a face in the crowd, or a sign, ANYTHING that motivates you to keep going. Your body tells you how tired you are. Your mind knows you need to keep going.
Right now, that's me. I started this project because through my depression, I always deeply wanted to hear that it was going to be okay. I looked for reasons to keep going. I needed a friend that could give me a hug and tell me that great things were in store, even if I couldn't see them myself.
Right before I launched this website, I was in a deep depression, deeper than I had been in for many years. Events were unfolding in my life and I felt completely out of control. I even thought about suicide. I started to think back on my life- had I accomplished enough? Had I seen enough? I made an appointment with another intuitive that I consult with from time to time as a last resort. I needed answers- just like the ones I am trying to provide people on this site. She immediately picked up on my depression but also my intuition. She confirmed what I already knew was ahead but also confirmed my own abilities.
"It's time" she told me.
"Time?" I asked her, confused.
"You are shedding your skin. It's time for YOU to shine."
I understood what she meant. For so long I've lived with my abilities and a shame of them. What if someone found out that I knew things? People don't believe in "psychics" Did that mean they didn't believe in me? Even my own husband (an intellectual in every sense of the word) would raise his eyebrows when I would speak of my ability.
So I got off the phone with my mentor and I approached my husband to ask what he thought.
"I think it's going to be a challenge" he said, taking a deep breath. "But you like challenges."
"I do" I answered back, with trepidation.
"I love you for all that you are. I always have. Go for it."
With my husband's blessing, I took this jump.
I'm still in the process of free-falling. I'm not sure exactly where I am going to end up when I land. I am positive this is the path I am supposed to be on. It is scary but it is also beautiful. I also know that I am okay, just the way I am.
So are you.
We don't give ourselves enough credit for our wins. A win could be just making it through the day. Some days, I put a check mark down because I didn't yell at my kids. Some days, it's because I only managed to take a shower. Whatever you do today- check that box of accomplishment.
Life is really freaking hard. But, it's worth living. If you need help remembering that- I'm here. God knows I've had to remind that myself.
I have this gift. I don't know where it came from, but it's always been there. It's apart of me as much as my smile, my laugh, or the goofy way I dance.
I want to share this gift with whomever needs it. Because we all need a little help remembering why we keep going day in, day out.
If you're a friend of mine reading this- shout me some love and support over on my instagram account- https://www.instagram.com/1questionatatime/ Because I could really use my cheering crew right now as I free-fall on this new adventure.
If you're a friend I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet, welcome in. You and your stories are safe here. Message me, ask a question, stay awhile.
Above all, remember as the road gets hard- we are all in this together.