Last night I did a reading with someone, and the light and connection was unmistakeable. I had felt her nervous energy all day. When we met up in the late afternoon as the sun was starting to set, her eyes were bright but sad. We immediately bonded over our love for strawberries and Starbucks, and quickly fell into conversation. Throughout the three in a half hours we talked, it wasn't all an intuitive reading. We learned about our mutual dislike of change and our perfectionist streak. She was easy to talk to and ready to open up. The Universe obliged in turn by helping her see why she was facing the challenges she was, and how she might help herself.
I love readings like the one last night. The Universe was so perfectly in line with what was about to happen. You could almost feel the change in the energy last night as my new friend let down her walls and her light slowly started to crack through the hard surface that she had surrounded herself with.
By the end of the night, I was part of her new tribe- and I told her so. We were now connected by this energy we had shared and created. Once energy is created, it can never be taken away. Today I can feel her energy is lighter. Without even speaking to her, I know she is smiling more, and she's breathing a little easier.
It's amazing how just talking to someone can do that. If you trust in the Universe, you can let go of an enormous amount of pain in a short amount of time. It's incredible to witness. When you are working with someone, you can almost see the light in their eyes becoming brighter as they start understanding what is holding them back. It's beautiful. I am so grateful I was able to help her, and I can't wait to see where she goes from here.
Today though, I feel like I need to rest. My body is tired. My mind isn't very focused. My husband (ever my caretaker) thinks the reading I did last night plus the question I finished up this morning has emptied me. He encourages me to recharge, and I sit drinking warm tea with headphones on.
Recharging has become a buzz word of sorts. Advertisers use it to sell everything from expensive vacations to bath bombs, convincing you that if only you purchase their product, you will feel relaxed. The truth of the matter is, relaxation has to come from within, and it has two components:
1. We have to want to relax
2. We have to know how to relax.
A lot of people have the first component down, but not the second. Relaxation and recharging is as individual as breathing. Several doctors have suggested I drink wine, including when I was pregnant. Another doctor told me my body was "wired to not relax" and gave me a medication to help fix that. (Surprisingly, I'm still on this medication. It's for my heart, and I'm not going to mess around. If my cardiologist thinks I need it, I'll take it without argument.)
While the beta blocker I'm on helps control my adrenaline response, it still didn't solve what I could do to recharge or relax. I went through several therapists discussing strategies. It can get complicated. Does it stem from your childhood? Do you really just spread yourself too thin?
So you sit there. Maybe you try to meditate or do Yoga. But, something in you doesn't get it. You're bored with sitting, or you don't feel like trying to put your body into positions it's never been in. Do you give up? No. Not everyone is wired to recharge
a) Around other people.
b) Sitting still.
It's okay. It doesn't make you an odd duck.
Close your eyes, and picture yourself at your happiest moment. What are you doing? Are you playing with your kids? Reading while the snow falls? Maybe you are playing video games. Whatever you picture as your happy moment- try that on for size and see how you feel afterwards. My mom relaxes by gardening. She always has. She will go out in her garden and spend all morning pulling weeds and digging the ground up. She comes back in and always seems to have a smile on her face.
That's the feeling you want at whatever you do. You want to be able to smile and feel... well... better.
But, if afterwards you feel drained and like you want a nap- don't get discouraged. Just try another activity. It'll come. Relaxation and recharging takes practice, just like meditation and yoga do. You have to recharge often enough that your body starts to relax just thinking about the activity. That's when you know you've hit that sweet spot.
For me, my idea of recharging and relaxation has changed as I've gotten older. When I was young, I used to voraciously read books. I loved getting lost in a story. Then, for a long while, it was going on long runs. I would run 15-18 miles and feel free. In the last couple of years, it's evolved again. Now, just the thought of cuddling up with my husband and watching a Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn movie makes me smile. I fall into his arms and know I have nothing in the world to worry about. It's my happy place, and I hope it will continue to be for a long, long, time.
The clouds have come back today, and the temperature has once again fallen. Winter is not done with us yet. I'm okay with that. The idea of hibernation sounds incredibly recharging to me. It's the thought of cuddling up somewhere warm and closing my eyes- knowing everything is right in the world.
Peace. You can't relax if you don't feel peaceful. Part of feeling peaceful is being able to let go. The theme of, "letting go" is going to come up again and again because we all need to do it. When we can let go and let the choir sing, we can come back stronger and more resilient than ever.
Today, put your phone and computer down. Breathe deep. Know that there is NOTHING you need to do right here, right now. Allow yourself to be in the present moment, and take some time for yourself.
As for me, I'm going to continue to drink my tea and close my eyes. There's a handsome gentleman that has his arms open, waiting for me to cuddle in. My shoulders relax, and I let myself go.