My love-hate relationship with the light lamp.

1 min read
05 Feb

It's been Winter for just about 6 weeks now. Although many Nutmeggers would argue how mild the weather has been in terms of snowfall, the amount of light we have been receiving (plus record-breaking rain, hooray!) has hurt my mood. 

A couple of years ago (after it was clear my family and I were becoming permanent New England residents), my mom bought me a light lamp. The Calfornia-native in me was excited at the anticipation of light- actual light! ...Until I turned it on. The light blazed on like we had a spot light being shown on us. My daughter squinted her eyes and tried to look towards the lamp. "Mom? What is this thing?"  

"It's a light lamp. It's supposed to help with our mood by tricking our body into making more Vitamin D" I said without conviction. 

"But... it's a light. It's not the sun!" She said with a huff. 

Clearly, the light lamp has it's fans. Therapists swear by it, including my own. She routinely reminds me to turn it on at the end of every session. I always promise her I will, but then life gets in the way and I forget. It's currently upstairs in our hallway closet, next to the Q-tips and the first aide kit. At least I know where it is. 

As humans, we need the light. The sun has a way of healing all things, just by sitting in it for a bit. Turning a light lamp on seems to be cheating those moments. There's nothing like that first warm Spring day when you can sit outside. Even now, thinking about that day (still a good eight weeks away, I'm sure) I can feel the sun on my skin. I miss the long days of light and warmth. But, then when the days get longer and I struggle to put 2 kids into bed at a reasonable time when it's still daylight out- I long for the longer nights again. Maybe that's why Fall and Spring are so perfect. The perfect amount of light. The perfect balance of warmth and cold. Everything seems like it evens out during the Spring and Fall.

I've been thinking a lot about the light lately as Winter trudges on. Many I know are suffering from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and it can get hard. That's why I had the idea to create this site in the first place. I wanted to help be a light to someone that maybe can't see it as bright. With so many of us suffering from depression or at the very least malaise, maybe I could be the one to help someone see something they could not. I wanted to make it affordable, and I wanted to take the stigma away from what a "psychic" looks or behaves like. The truth is, I'm pretty average. I just have an ability to sense what some others cannot. It doesn't make my life any easier. If anything, it complicates things a heck of a lot more. (Try telling your spouse you just "know" something for the hundredth time. Don't expect them NOT TO roll their eyes and do whatever they were going to do anyway.) 

So, welcome to my site. Take a deep breath. Stay awhile. And, if it's cold and dark where you are- maybe consider a light lamp.

With love,