When something ends. Something begins. Another cheesy line that doesn't make sense until you experience it.
One of my dearest friends moved away last week. The next morning, I got the inspiration for this website, and the courage to chase my dreams of helping people while being true to myself.
My friend and I chatted this morning over FaceTime, coffee in hand, kids and dogs running around the background. Chatting with her felt like home. Do you have friends like that? Friends that you connect with and all of the sudden, everything is right in the world and you are perfect just the way you are?
When you find a friend like that, hold on to them with all your might. They are meant to be there, walking with you hand in hand on whatever journey you both are on.
I didn't have many friends growing up. Being intuitive can do that to you. The ability to sense things beyond this realm doesn't exactly win you a seat at the lunch table. I was an outsider. Eventually, being an outsider became comfortable and I owned it. I was angry at the world, and wasn't afraid to show it.
But anger never points you in the right direction, does it? It makes you feel like you are in charge, but really- you are far from it. You are lost in your own emotions. Being able to control anger and those emotions will be a lifelong challenge for many of us. It is hard not be affected.
I am not perfect. Far from it. I have 2 living children. I lost 1 child full-term at birth. If you don't think loosing a child at birth doesn't make you angry at the world and at God, you're kidding yourself. If you think I didn't blame myself for being intuitive and not being able to save her, well let's just say- it's taken five in a half years to work through that one.
My living children are wonderful, they are gifts. But they are challenging. My marriage is strong and wonderful, but it takes work. Oh, and my husband doesn't take my explanation of me being intuitive as a good reason to forget to return a call or make dinner "because I know I'll think of something." Yeah, I tried that a few too many times.
There is a stigma with psychics that I hope to break in this blog and in my business. I don't have a crystal ball. I'm not psychic about myself. I am normal in everything I do except the way I dance. I definitely do not dance normally. Think of Elaine in Seinfeld. I dance like that.
There are endings in my life all of the time. When my daughter died at birth, that was a beginning and an ending all in one. Much less dramatically, when my friend moved last week- another ending. I used to get really sad about endings. I hate change. Endings start beginnings, though. They start new adventures. They start a scary unknown that can and does bring about joy. We have to be open to it, though.
We have become so closed off as a society. We don't want to be vulnerable for fear of being hurt. We don't let people in. When I was young and rejected, I wouldn't have been open to someone being a friend to be even if they had had the purest of intentions. I was so afraid of being hurt that I wasn't willing to take the chance.
If we are hurt though, it means we cared. I cared about those kids that rejected me when I was younger. I cared about their acceptance. How could I have their acceptance though if I didn't accept myself?
Everything is a circle. Acceptance and love of ourselves. Beginnings. Endings. It's the same.
By helping others in questions and readings, I'm helping try to bridge the gap of all of this. I hope I can help remind you that it's okay to be angry and hurt. It's okay to dance like Elaine on Seinfeld, or yell at your kids. It's okay to be annoyed that you're still 40 and single, or 35 and have 3 young kids.
You are okay, just the way you are.
This is my beginning. I would be honored if you'd join me. Let's walk together on this path. Maybe we'll feel a little less alone. Maybe this can be a beginning for you, too. Take the first step- ask me a question, book a reading. Let's forgive the crap that's happened in our past, and let's celebrate new beginnings. Because we all deserve them.
Especially if we love who we are.