Yesterday I challenged myself by blogging about the fear that came from being an intuitive/psychic. After blogging, I felt frustrated, and I wasn't sure why. I tried to be present for my family but I was distracted. It wasn't that I explained how I "hear" information in my head, or that I talked about my childhood and how I was overmedicated to account for my abilities. I think my frustration had to do with the fact that I am always "on" -not in an intuitive sense, but in the sense that my mind seems to be going. I needed to turn off, and yet I couldn't.
I was sitting at the counter when my daughter brought a yellow card over. As soon as she gave it to me, I knew exactly what it was.
Dare to Dream
Whether big or Small
Believe in Yourself
And you can achieve All
The card said, and it was a gift from my Aunt the last year before she died. She gave it to me with accompanying bracelet that I wear every so often. The thing is, I hadn't seen this card in a long time. I asked my daughter where she had gotten it.
"It had fallen behind papers on the side of the refrigerator" She said simply, as if picking through papers on the refrigerator was something she did all of the time.
All I could do was smile and laugh. My daughter looked confused, and I explained who the card was from. She still wrinkled her brows and looked at me as if I was crazy.
"My Aunt D encouraged you to give this to me right now" I told her.
"OoooKaaaayyy" my daughter said in a voice that I'm sure I'm going to be hearing a lot of in the next ten years. She dropped the subject. It's bad enough that she knows mom is psychic, but thinking someone led her to do something- I get her reaction. It's okay.
I held the card in my hand, and traced over my Aunt's handwriting, knowing she was probably standing somewhere in my kitchen, feeling proud that she was able to get a message across.
She knew that was the message I needed, before I knew what was wrong.
Louise Hay wrote a book a long, long, time ago titled "Don't Push the River" and at my last therapy session my therapist introduced the saying to me.
"I don't get it" I told her, I assume giving her the same look my daughter just gave me.
"It means, you can't move faster than the river. You can only go as fast as the current will allow" She explained
The mantra has been stuck in my brain, and I've been repeating it to myself every so often.
I blogged before about trying to rush to the thing, the next event, the next big thing. It distracts us from the present moment. With all of my "planning" in my head, it's been hard to focus on the mundane needs of house and home. Laundry? How exciting is laundry when I can connect with Spirit? Oh that's right- I'm just a normal intuitive that is ALSO a stay at home mom. Laundry is my job, regardless of my ability to connect to another dimension.
However, my Aunt's push last night was just what I needed. It's okay to have big dreams and plans. But, I can only go as fast as the river will allow. I can't rush success, just like I can't rush my kids to get dressed in the morning. And, like the kids, the more I try to rush it, the more it seems it seems to stall.
It frustrates me so much to feel like things are stalling, even though I know logically, they aren't. Who knows what big plans the Universe has working.
Right as I sat down to type this blog, I turned on my "Calm" app on my phone to listen to music. All of the sudden, a meditation started without me pushing a button. I looked down to see the meditation that had automatically started was called "Patience and Time"
Okay Universe, I've received the message.
This morning I took some time with my son. We threw tennis balls to the dogs and worked on writing letters and numbers. He snuggled up with me as I helped him trace, his trust and love for me evident. It felt good to put on my "mom" hat, and it felt good to get out of my head.
Through my readings and answering questions, that seems to be a central problem for a lot of us. We stand in our own way and try to block the river from flowing. We get so stuck in our brain that we create an almost alternative-reality. It's a reality where bad thoughts become real, and that woman at the post office really WAS rolling her eyes at us.It get's us stuck in a cyclical cycle where we have a hard time finding our way out. These thought patterns and habits can last YEARS or even a lifetime if we aren't careful.
So how do we get out of our own head?
We stop thinking.
It sounds so freaking simple, but it's true. This morning, I focused on being present with my son. All of the sudden, I felt the weight of frustration relax off my shoulders. Similarly, last night when my daughter found my lost note, being able to "let go" of that frustration, even temporarily, is a good start.
You can mediate as well, if meditation is your thing. I go through periods where I meditate every day to not for months. There are other ways of meditation though. For me, typing this blog can help me relax in the same way. With my headphones on, I allow my brain to release all of the thoughts it's been holding onto. During the warmer months, my family hikes. Hearing my footsteps and the rustling of the leaves makes me feel a sense of peace that I quite frankly, get elsewhere.
Find your own way of shutting off your brain. When you're able to do so, you allow the river to flow, and amazing things will happen- maybe not right away, but the more you shut off your brain, the more you allow the Universe to work without your interference. When we get in our own way, it only hurts our chances to succeed, even if we think that by constantly thinking, it'll help. Overthinking drains you, it takes you out of the present moment and into your own head. If you are constantly overthinking, you won't have the energy to actually do the things that will help move you forward.
So last night my husband and I watched an episode of "Chopped" and this afternoon I think I'll allow myself some time to catch up on the Bachelor. -After I recheck my email, of course. Success isn't built in a day or even in a week. It's built painstakingly, brick by brick. If you don't rest after you put a brick down, you won't have the energy to put the next one on.
So, if it's watching reality tv, meditating, or even just being present with your kids- I hope today, you get out of your own head and rest your mind for a bit. Patience happens when you trust that the Universe is in control, and you simply let go of the controls.